Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Feeling Down

Today was day 5 in a row riding Sam. Some days jumping, others flatwork and sometimes just a quick hack. It's been nice.

Work has been very stressful for me. I was offered the other position at work, doing the same kind of work and a percentage of my time working the same team I will be let go from (now I'm a pay-as-you-go resource instead of dedicated). The crap part is I'll be making 54% less. It will barely cover my horse expenses and a few odds and ends after 401k & taxes. It really has me depressed and I feel overwhelmingly undervalued.

So I've been leaving my home office around 11am every day and going to see my favorite horse. I spend about 2 hours at the barn and come home in a better mood. Worth every penny.

Sam in the center with pasture mate, Otto, at left

I plan to keep looking for a new job in a more career focused direction, using skills I have but haven't been utilized. At least I'm not making $0 right now.

This Saturday I'll be taking my first lesson in over a month. For now I think I can muster once a month lessons - a huge drop from 2x/week. After a few paychecks I'll see where I'm at and maybe add in one more a month. I've been spending time at the barn during lesson hours and soaking in what I can. And riding with my buddy Amy will be very helpful as she's still taking weekly lessons and we'll work on homework together.

It's hard. I'm in a tough spot. I'm sad and want to feel sorry for myself, but I also know even though this is a rough patch for me, I still have it very, very good. But I'm going to take that moment and then move on. And every time I see Sam, it really helps make everything all better.

Keeping things in perspective


  1. Hang in there! Sometimes things happen for a reason, and I'm hoping that a better door opens for you as this one closes.

  2. It'll get better! A job change like that is tough, but at least you can keep Sam. Something better will come along.

    1. That's what I keep telling myself! Hope it comes true :)